dreamerness

in two days we travel to a place that is out of the way and hidden in misty forests that clothe the mountain pass. we shall make our home in the trees and spend out days walking its paths. the fairy-town folk will laugh knowing when they see us dissappear in the greenery.

Mushroom Dreams and Tea Queens!

I had another dream about mushrooms last night...magick mushrooms. For some reason I can only remember the shrooms themselves...I've forgotten the context of the actual dream.

They were in a small packet and I only had two. One mushroom was black, wrinkled and dried, and small. The other mushroom was larger, and big, white and fresh with a ring of bright coloures around the cap. In my dream, I seemed to pay more attention to the white mushroom...

What does this dream mean? I have had so many mushroom dreams lately!

 

It might pertain to solving my current problem of leaving to work in a place that I love with a sore heart, or staying because of financial security in a place that drains you and bogs you down.

Yet, as with all supernatural advice, it never actually gives you an answer to your problem.

Any way, I made a pot of thoughtful tea, and I think I might share it with you...

Grapefruit and Orange Frecsh Tea

(Fresch is my own spelling for 'Fresh')





Peel and slice a quarter grapefruit. Slice up the spelters so the flesh is open and place about 4 pieces into a teapot. Add a little bit(about 100mls) of 100% orange juice and 1 bag of rooibos tea. Fill the teapot with boiling water and let it stand for +-3 minutes. Sweeten with honey or sugar.

 Also, here are some groovy pics...what plant comes in all the coloures of the rainbow?

<3

Grass doesnt grow in the shade...

I have just realised that confrontation is my problem. The minute I feel I am being threatened emotionally by someone who I care about or who cares about me, I shut up like a clam and sit with my mouth popping open and closed like a goldfish, tears or frustration welling up in my eyes while my mind runs circuts around my brain screaming like a steam train.

what do i say? how do i say it? what's the right tone to use? how should i order my words? what if i make it worse? what if im not coming across right? why cant i speak? say it now! SAY IT!!!

....poppopopopop....

Nothing.....

My mind goes again....

Fuck! why cant I speak dammit! why is this happening to me? is it because my mum always used to tell me to shut up whenever i spoke back to her in an argument? is it because it was easier for me to keep quiet and forget? why does it only happen with people i care about?? why? why! Say something....he's sitting there waiting for you to speak...say something! what did he ask though? what is the right answer? i want to make it right. what must i saaaaay!?

It's exhausting and it's a personal problem I have no clue how to fix. Eventually exasperation presides and the tears fall. not because anyone hurt me, but because i couldn't stop myself from hurting him. It's the most despairing feeling to have, to watch yourself hurt the ones you love, when all they want you to do is say something.

How do I stop this? It's no-one's fault but mine. I dont want to blame anyone for it...i just want it to go away because then I can forget it.

I keep trying to make up for my lack of verbosity by trying to get my meaning across with body language and actions...but I seem to fail even in this. I come across as if I dont care, but i do! I just try to be tentative...cautious...i kiss a little to show how much i love alot, i hold your hand to tell you how much you mean the world to me, i slip you a secret smile to let you know im thinking of you. How can i expect you to see thing thats i keep trying to hide? I just hope you'll see my smile, feel the love from my kisses, get warm from the touch of my hand...
But thats not how the world works. I live in my own head of fatasism...where you can feel what I feel right down to my thoughts on the weather. It's unrealistic of me to expect things like that...

This is not an apology. This is not my explanation of whats going on in my head.

It's just me, trying to dust out my own closet so you dont have to deal with my skeletons. Because I dont want you to struggle with that aswell. You do so much already and I know you probably dont see my way of saying how much I appreciate you and everything you do for me. But I do. I do more than anything!

I love you.

Say "HORROR"

Fadings

Fading away into a dark grey day. No sun lighting my way, only atoms splitting in the sky.

She was a pretty thing, with a smile for everyone to share. She laughed like broken glass, sparkling accross a stone floor. She left into the sunset, never to be seen again by our eyes. I tried to follow her, but she left me choking in  the darkness of her dust.

Now i burn at her memory, and try to forget the happier times.

I wish I wasn't Human.


I wish I was just a conciousness. Floating where ever I will...




Free to roam everywhere. Free to be on any plane of existence, and free to create anything my mind desires. I want to sit on a star and ponder the moon. When I'm infront of a mirror, you wont see my reflection, but if you stand behind me, you will see creation, life, past, present, future, death, existence, beauty, evil, and above all, love. I am all these things. I am beauty, I am trust, I am Love, I am Life, I am Death, I am all you ever want to be purely because I am free!

Sunny Ground Rainy Skies

The Long Walk To Free It...

It's stronger than concrete. Its awesome for rope! It makes the best fabric in the world. It's healthy for your skin, hair and nails. You can make paper from it. You can build houses from it. You can drive your car with it. You can eat it. Use it to relieve pain! Use it to ease asthma! Wash your body with it!

What IS this amazing product???

Good old Hemp.

Here are some facts about hemp:

• Body care products -- The critical importance of EFAs (essential fatty acids) for healthy skin makes hemp seed oil a highly effective skin care and cosmetic product. Its lipid constituents allow it to permeate through intact skin and thereby nourish skin cells directly. Consequently, these therapeutic properties have led to a multitude of soaps, shampoos, skin lotions, lip balms, conditioners, and other skin-care products containing hemp seed oil. For the hair, hemp oil improves shine, as well as being able to relieve a dry scalp.
• Building products -- The benefits of using hemp-based composites in construction materials rather than wood include better resistance to fire, fungi, rodents, termites, and other pests. This use would also stimulate local economies and improve agricultural sustainability. When properly retted and stacked, hemp can be stored for many years without significant deterioration, thereby allowing the producer to take advantage of fluctuating markets.
• Diapers -- Hemp makes the best diapers. Because they are reusable, they will not be added to landfills. Not only that, but they are also far more absorbent than cotton and just as soft.
• Fabrics -- Cotton is one of the most destructive crops in existence, using half the pesticides in agriculture. Even organic cotton requires extremely heavy irrigation. Hemp, on the other hand, can be grown organically and sustainably. It can also be made into attractive and stylish clothing. Hemp fibers are stronger than cotton and similar to linen or raw silk.
• Fewer wars -- Although this is a stretch, one can dream that there would be fewer wars, particularly ones that now start over non-renewable supremacy. Possibly, such wars as the Gulf War might never have happened.
• Fiberboard -- Hemp fiberboard is a viable alternative to the composite board made from processed wood chips and resins. Wood chip fiberboard is notoriously weak; but using the long bast fibers of hemp makes a much stronger product with a wider range of applications. It is also more fireproof and insect resistant. MDF (Medium Dense Fiber) is a cellulose composite made comparable to the strength found in trees. Hemp fiberboard has proven to be 250% stronger than wood MDF composite board and 300% more elastic. Therefore, it should not be necessary to take a 200 to 500 year-old tree to make a house that lasts only 50 years. Instead, hemp, which takes only about 100 to 150 DAYS to grow, can make the same house that lasts the same length of time.
• Fiberglass -- Just as hemp fiber can replace fiberglass in cars, boats, and ther vehicles, it also makes a perfect substitute for such other fiberglass materials as insulation. Hemp hurds, treated with a fire retardant, can then be blown into the space between walls and provide the needed protection without the lung or skin irritation associated with fiberglass insulation.
• Hempahol -- Corn is not the only plant that can be used to make ethanol; and per acre, hemp is a more prolific producer than corn. Unlike gasoline, ethanol does not produce any of the sulfur or other air pollution responsible for acid rain and various diseases.
• Housing - A company in France has patented a concrete substitute made by calcifying hemp stalks into a solid mass. The resulting material is called Isochanvre, as is the company name. Isochanvre is as strong as concrete but weighs only 1/7th as much. It is also more flexible and a much better insulator, making it better able to withstand natural disasters. The company has already built hundreds of these all-natural houses in Europe and was the first to do so in Canada. Such building materials would significantly lessen the impact of taking from the environment without replenishing it.
• Natural herbacide - While herbacides do keep weeds down, they also poison the ground with their chemical components. This eventually reaches into the food supply. Herbacides also produce mutants which become stronger and more resistant to chemicals. Capable of growing six feet in two weeks, thickly sown hemp crops simply choke out weeds, cutting them off from sunlight and nutrients. Rotating hemp crops will keep the soil in prime shape for whatever cash crop is to follow.
• No oil spills -- This point is so obvious that it is often overlooked – hemp does not cause oil spills. Consequently, no wildlife can be harmed or ecosystems destroyed.
• Paper – The world’s first source of paper was made from hemp; and 2000-year old pieces of hemp paper have stood the test of time, a feat far beyond the capabilities of wood pulp paper. If wood pulp had been the source of paper, we likely would not have the recorded history. Until the development of acid-free paper, wood pulp paper disintegrated in just over a century. Hemp paper is stronger than wood pulp paper, naturally pliable, and partially water-resistant. Half of the trees cut down today are used to make paper – which ultimately ends up in landfills a short time later.
• Plastic – Because plastic is made from non-renewable resources, searching for an alternative is crucial and began in earnest in the 1970s when an oil crises drove up the price of petrochemicals – a practice that has been retained to this day. As governments struggle to find ways to reduce global warming and consumers continue to demand alternatives, the hemp plant is becoming an increasingly valuable alternative to the petro-chemical based industries, which are high energy users and contribute greatly to rising CO₂ levels. Renewable bio-resource based products are low-energy consumers and CO₂-neutral. Hemp fibers are tough and durable, and adding them enables the reduction of the amount of plastic required without loss of performance. (See more at Hemp Plastic.)
• Prevent erosion – The following is but one example where hemp could help to hold topsoil in place. Massive deforestation on the slopes of the Himalayas (hemp’s original home) is rapidly turning the area into a barren moonscape. Forested areas that previously lost only 0.3 tons of soil per hectare each year now lose as much as 90 tons in the same space after being clearcut. At that rate, nothing more than rock will remain. The soil washes downstream, clogging rivers and killing aquatic life, eventually sweeping into the sea by the Ganges and other rivers. Former vice-president Al Gore said, “These mountain lands, which boast some of the most spectacular natural beauty on earth, are now being devastated to briefly quench the needs of a single generation.” Hemp grows abundantly in the Himalayas, if given the chance, and could cover these scarred areas, holding topsoil while providing an income for the region’s people.
• Shower curtains -- One of the many plastic products that release toxic gasses when heated is the shower curtain -- and shower curtains tend to be heated a lot. Rather than being trapped in a small confined space and gassed by shower curtains, home-owners are now able to buy attractive, long-lasting, naturally mildew-resistant shower curtains made from hemp.
• Soap – Making soap is a relatively simple process using a fat (acid) and some ash (alkali) to neutralise the fatty acids in the fat, which forms a soap. Here is a site that shows you how to make hemp soap: GoPlanet Earth.

maybe I dont want to do whats right...maybe i just want to do what's free. Is that not my right? Why does everything become a political fight? It makes me want to put out my light, dissapear for a while. I want to let myself smile, paint the trees blue and the sky green and the clouds purple. I want to make everything my own piece of artwork. I want to color my hair with the rainbow and hang beads in it. I want to get a tattoo around my neck. I want to pierce my nose, my lip and my collar bones again. I want to wear black nail varnish and carry a box of weed around with me. I want to fly my kite, eact ice cream, smile at someone random and give them a pouch of awesome herbal tea. I want to run around fields and hide in a forest, climb a mountain, drink from a fountain. I want to lie under the stars with you. Lets get lost in our history and forget we have opinions of it. Lets just not say what we need to do, lets just forget what we need and do what we want. I want to do it with you. Love.

Accountable

You cant hold me accountable. I am spirit-free. Let me run wild in the valleys and secrets in my world...dont ask me where I've been, what I've seen....just know that I am happy...I've surfaced from this world for a breather in space. Sometimes I cant do it with you, but thats okay because I miss you when I'm gone...just dont hang on too long because I'll be back soon, or you'll be stuck in my tracks wondering what went wrong, meanwhile I'm just singing a song under a mushroom somewhere, smoking my beautiful tree, thinking of you and me...and taking my mind off it's leash.

Dont hold me accountable if I go...Im not really gone, nor am I here.

Lonley Days, Magical Ways

Left alone to breathe by myself, I follow my thoughts through faye mountains, sitting naked on big rocks in the sun, soaking in the days, meditating in the warm rays. I make daisy chains for my beloved and clothe myself from the Willow tree's wardrobe. I can feel the soil grains sift through my fingers, I can feel Wind's breath on my toes...Oh! How nice he blows! My lips speak with the Water trickling deep and listen to it whisper through Wonderland.

It's raining on my back and I'm rolling the Sun into a ball between my fingers. Nonchalantly, I flick it back into the sky. What a pretty wisp am I! Maybe that's what people say, but let's sing ourselves away into another day and come what may, we'll never say it was a Lonley Day. Because we both sang the same song and it wasn't long after that we left behind the wrong and rode a dragon to Mars and had a had a picnic while we watched the sun set over Earth. Our days will be filled with kisses and soul-dancing across the galaxy and they will write about us...they will write about the souls that kissed once and never again parted.

"The Gaian mind is what we're calling the psychedelic experience. It's an experience of the living fact of the entelechy of the planet - and without that experience we wander in a desert of bogus ideologies. But with that experience the compass of the self can be set."
-Terence Mckenna

Picture yourself in a boat on the river with Tangarine trees and Marmalade skies! Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly...a mushroom with kalaidescope eyes....

Smoke and magick, mirrors and beads, paisley throws, candy snows...